| Well, reading the past entries of my friends has made me a little introspective. That, and the fact that I have been incredibly lax in keeping in touch with people. That's always been a problem of mine. I'm rather a passive person when it comes to relationships. I wait for things to happen to me instead of taking control of my own life. For example, I don't call people, I wait for them to call me. I don't take initiative. Which no doubt irritates my friends to no end, and is starting to piss me off as well. Maybe that's why I've all of a sudden sought leadership positions. Treasurer of IHS, co-Recreation Director of DPC. Both come saddled with serious responsibilities. I'm in charge of all the money for an entire organization, and for the other one, I'm responsible for coordinating a school-wide event as well as weekly craft nights. But it also means that I am forced out of my comfort zone, which is something new and different for me. College is supposed to be about finding your place. I've been doing a lot of poking around. I've made - and lost - a lot of friends. Most have stayed around, but the few that I no longer speak to played a big part in turning me into who I am right now. My first crush at Duquesne turned out to be kind of a creep, but because of him, I started to get over my incredible shyness. That is one of the best things that has ever happened to me (also not just because of him, but because of my real friends, too). The other person who is no longer my friend was not as good for me, although a lot of things would not have happened if not for him. Like meeting my boyfriend, for example. We were introduced ages ago through him, although we didn't start talking until this past year, also because of him. As much drama as he gave me, he is also partly responsible for what I have now. Duquesne has also allowed me to branch out. I was so homesick when I first moved in. I did a lot of crying, and I wasn't sure I would be able to handle college. I was so scared of growing up and moving on with my life. My RA was instrumental in getting me through that, and she also pushed me to get involved on campus. Because of her direction, I found a place in several organizations. I went to things by myself - a feat unheard of when I was in high school. DPC, IHS, chapel choir: all of these gave me something to do with my time and helped me meet new people, getting me past my homesickness and on to enjoying my first year of college. I've also held down a job for the past two summers. As much as I complain about this job, and as badly as I may want to leave it in August and not come back, it's taught me a lot about the real world. Five days out of the week (never the same five days, mind you), I haul myself out of bed at an early hour and join the work force. The paycheck is the best part. There's just something about opening that envelope and seeing how much your time is worth. Well, that's all I've got for now. More to follow at a later date, when I'm bored again.  |
